~~MAYA~~

Who is she? I often wonder. She is many people in a single moment yet many people are her as well. She could just be a mere figment of my imagination that peeps through my eyes gazing at my world the way she finds fit and manipulates my brain, my heart, my soul. She is a loner yet seeks a presence of her choice. She’s unsettling, demanding, flitting, dreaming, hopeful, lovesick, needy, caring, possessive, giving, empathizing yet not all these and something else, seeking, something beyond her reach, racing her imagination and touching horizons and returning to make me restless and always wanting something more. Her actions are guided by her heart and her heart befuddles her brain, her senses. She desires a million things all at once. Like someone aptly put to describe her; her life is full of test tubes with a ratio of love from those she seeks and things she wants and some others are empty for the things she would fill in later as and when she discovers them to be an inevitable part of her. She cant part with that ratio, if any one potion goes less or goes unbalanced there is a turmoil in her that makes her go through imports of fury and depression. She can find both happiness and sorrow in the smallest of things or the grandest of things. There’s nothing in between. Life offers much less in all its glory and there is always some thing to fret about, yet in that very moment of misery there could be a thousand figs of absolute happiness. She doesn’t intend to complicate things, they just happen in the course of things. She is the child in me and the woman in me. I am still unraveling her presence. I am asking her to calm down, to stop flitting from one desire to another. I’m wondering when will she tire? When will she settle? I’m hoping she doesn’t break anything, a dream, a hope, a heart..

Comments

adt29 said…
You have just described me!
3:23 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

CARNATIC BLUES!! I believe most people especially in the US have their primary goal to just be able to perform on stage. Back in India, it is not so. I feel for Carnatic music, one should go through rigorous training even after you feel that you have reached a stage where you can be giving a stage performance. The whole structure of raaga needs to be very clear in your head and the more you advance in your learning, the more you should go back to the basics and use them for all the raagas that you learn. Like for examples, the alankaras should be practiced with all the raagas and not just mayamamavagaula. Also, varnams should be really stressed upon before reaching the keertana stage. The more varnams you learn, the more strong you become in the ragaa structure. For keertanams, you should stress on learning the madhayama kalam keeatanam first for any raaga, then moving on to one having a chittaswarm and then moving on to vilambakalam keertanam for the same raaga. This way y
Read more
Bain and Boon of being a Palakkad-i And for those who wonder who a Palakkad-i is, well we are people who hail from a village(Palakkad) in the south of the Indian peninsula that lies on the border of Tamil Nadu and Kerala. It was initially owned by the government of Tamil Nadu but now in the hands of Kerala. So my ancestors were Tamil but now we are successfully confused. My friends often ask me which state am I from, and I vacillate between the two. C'mon guys its hard on me. Cut me some slack, I am a Palakkad-i born and brought up in the North which makes it even more eclectic. I grew up speaking a language that perhaps no-one other than a fellow Palakkad-i would understand. I have trouble understanding a perfectly pure Tamil movie or a Malayalam movie, or news readers, or people or songs. I never felt that void up until now when my interaction levels with neighbors from the east and west has increased in magnitude and there is a pressing need to be able to speak one pure language
Read more